You're my responsibility - Phan
by awesomesockesONESHOTS
Summary: PHAN ONE SHOT! Contains: Fluff, angst, chronic illness. Dan suffers from really bad asthma and when he loses his inhaler Phil has to help him. AmazingPhil, danisnotonfire, Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Phan.


I am posting short Phanfics on this profile. Find 'awesomesockes'' for the longe chaptered Phanfics!

Dan suffers from really, really bad asthma and he loses his inhaler at vidcon. Phil has to help him.

(OOC. Nothing of this has ever happened!)

Phan one shot!

Contains: Fluff, chronic illness.

**You're my responsibility**

Words: 4.815

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PHIL'S POV!

"Should we get something to eat?" Me and Dan walked through the halls at vidcon. We had been walking around for almost 8 hours straight, meeting fans, talked to other youtubers, explaining video ideas, been on panels and in interviews. Everyone has been so lovely, but it was pretty exhausting because of the heat and I was getting quite hungry. "Dan?"

"Ye-yeah." But the voice came from a bit behind me.

"You okay?" I stopped and turned around. Dan had slowed down.

"I... justneed... inhaler. It's fine." He stopped completely and I walked back to him.

"Is it in your bag?" He nodded and I started searching for it. I saw him open his mouth slightly so it became easier to breathe. "Take it off. I can't find it." I pulled the bag off his shoulders and emptied it out on the floor to get a better look. Nothing.

"Didyou... Findit?"

"No, it's not here." I quickly emptied my own, I know we had more than one so maybe I had it. "Are you sure you brought it with you? Did you forget it in the hotel room?" It wasn't in mine either, I only had the peak flow meter. I had looked through everything.

He wanted to answer, but got cut off by a coughing fit. I wrinkled my forehead at him. Dan suffered from really bad asthma. He have had attacks before, this was getting serious.

"Did you use it earlier today?" He slowly shook his head. "Wait. Haven't you used it all day then?" I repeated in concern and lifted my eyebrows. "Daniel, you idiot." But I have to admit that I had forgot it too. I was usually the one reminding Dan to use his inhaler every now and then. But we had been so busy all day. I looked through our stuff again.

"Come. Let's go over here." I spotted some empty space by the windows in the hallway. I helped Dan with me, but walked slowly. Being careful not to take his last breath away. I gently placed him on the floor and sat down on my knees in front of him, but he just started to cough violently. Making him hiss after each breath.

"Ph-Phil.." He moved his hand towards his mouth to show me that he needed it.

"I can't find it." I said. I could see Dan was getting desperate. I was too. "Can you blow into this for me?" I moved the peak flow monitor towards his mouth. "As hard as you can." Only 50 under normal. That was okay. "Do it again." But it only gave a worse result. "One more time." But Dan just shook his head and pushed my hand away. I guess he couldn't do better..

"What's wrong?" A familiar voice asked concerned behind me. I jumped on my feet.

"Cat! I need your help. You need to run back to our hotel room and see if you can find his inhaler. Please." I said as fast as I could and walked closer to her.

"Wait, what?" Cat locked her gaze at Dan for a moment.

"Dan's inhaler. He's having an asthma attack and I can't find it. I think we left it. Please, it's getting bad." I search through my pockets to find the key card.

"Yes. Yes, of course. Do you know where it is?" She took the card out of my hand.

"I have no idea. Just look through everything. I don't care if you make a mess in our stuff. Maybe our toilet things, but just please hurry." She nodded, turned around and started running down the stairs.

I turned back to Dan who haven't moved at all.

I bent down to his level as he started coughing again. He didn't even bother covering his mouth anymore. The sound was horrible. It sounded like he was drowning.

I lifted Dan's chin from his chest, he just kept on coughing for a bit. He pulled a face because of the pain in his chest.

"Plea...Phil.." I didn't knew what to do. I looked around, for no reason of course. Nothing around here could fix this.

"Stop talking. It's only making it worse." I kept holding his head up, making it as easy for him to breathe as possible. He curled his legs together and I could tell he tried to get up, but I managed to press him against the floor with my other hand. His powers were running dry. But he kept moving around, like he didn't knew where to put himself because of desperation. He shook his head slowly from side to side and kept his mouth slightly open, trying to breathe. I tried to keep eye contact with him to calm him down. Panic could make it worse.

"Hey Phil. Wow, what's happening?" I could hear Chris coming closer. Me and Dan had sat on the floor for some time, but everything was only turning out to be worse. Chris had travelled with us this year and it didn't take him long to realise what was going on. "Asthma attack?"

"Yes, he's..." But I got cut off by the ringtone of my phone. "Chris. Either you're taking over here or you pick up the phone." I couldn't move because my one hand was busy holding Dan's head so he wouldn't suffocate because of the mucus in his throat. And my other hand was busy holding him down. His breathing was becoming more and more heavy and his lips were slowly turning blue.

Chris bent down and placed his hand under Dan's chin so I could get a hand free. I already guessed it would be Cat calling.

"Hello. Did you find it?"

"_No. I've looked everywhere."_

"Are you sure? Under the bed? In the bed sheets? The suitcases? It have to be there somewhere, I remember him using it this morning." Dan started coughing again. The sound was even worse than before and tears was forming in his eyes. "Please, Cat."

"_Hold on. Is it blue and white? It was behind the nightstand."_

"Yes! Yes it is. Now just hurry back. And I mean really hurry."

"_Sure_." I hung up before we got to say anything else. I put my phone down on the floor and took back my job with holding Dan's head.

Dan kept on coughing and only stopped to breathe quickly, making these horrible hissing sounds with each breath.

I could hear people walking around behind us wondering what was going on. At least none of the fans had access to this place.

"Chris, can you handle me that t-shirt in my bag?"

"Yes, give me a sec." He searches through my things. "Here."

"Thank you." I used it to wipe the mucus Dan had cough up away from his chin. But he kept coughing to the point of gagging and spat out more of the mucus. I held the shirt in front of his mouth for him to spit into.

With unsteady and slow moves Dan moved his hand towards his mouth again to indicate that he needed the inhaler really badly. After that his body went still. He was still taking small strenuous breaths, but not moving.

"Try and use the peak flow meter again?"

"No. He is coughing too much, we won't be able to get it right."

I was just about to enter 911 and call an ambulance when I saw Cat running up the stairs.

"Here." She said breathless and handled me the object.

"Thank god." I pulled it out of her hand and placed myself on top of Dan with a knee in each side of his legs to get a better angle. "Dan?" I gently shook him to get his attention. He disoriented opened his eyes a bit. I quickly shook the inhaler and stuck it in his mouth and made him inhale the medication.

I waited a minute and did it again.

But after the 5th attempt, and with no major changes in his breathing, I stopped.

"Okay. I'm calling an ambulance." I handled the inhaler to Chris and got up. Cat was busy explaining what was going on to the people who was walking by.

I nervously rubbed my face with the back of my hand while I explained where we were and what the problem was. They would be here as fast as they could. I saw Chris use the inhaler on him again.

"There have to be some medics at this place, Chris. Can you try find one and ask if they have an oxygen mask?"

"Yeah, sure." Of course there had to be first aid medics at an event like this. Why haven't I thought of this before?

I switched place with Chris again and got back on top of Dan, holding the shirt and his head.

I used the inhaler on him again. It seemed to help a little in the hissing sound, but he kept coughing up mucus.

"Come on, come on, come on." I mumbled and dragged my fingers through Dan's hair, getting it out of his face. He was sweating a lot and he really struggled to breathe. Some tears were running down his cheeks. I gently brushed them away.

"Got it!" I head Chris yell. I saw him running up to me followed by another man I guessed was one of the first aid medics.

"Thank you." I moved away to give the man some place to put the mask on Dan.

"Can you go outside and guide the ambulance?" I turned to Chris. "I'm sorry for making you run around, Chris."

"No. It's fine, of course."

"Does he get these a lot?" The man asked. I turned back in my position and held his head. He wasn't strong enough to keep it up by himself. He just sat numb against the wall with closed eyes. I watched his chest raise and fall in short strenuous movements.

"Not like this, but his asthma is pretty bad. He often gets small attacks and he has to use the inhaler a lot. This has happened before, though." I kept my gaze locked at Dan. He looked absolutely exhausted. I let out a deep breath. This was my fault. I should have been after him earlier with that inhaler and called the ambulance as soon I realised it was missing. I had promised him I would look after him.

I looked out of the window again and saw the ambulance park at the front door and sighed in relief. I watched as the medics stepped out and met Chris, just as Dan started coughing violently again.

"Hold his shoulder." I told the man next to me. He did as he was told and put his hands on Dan left side. I quickly removed the oxygen mask while supporting his other shoulder and learned him a little forward. Making it possible for the mucus to run out of his mouth and into the shirt I was holding. This have to be the worst asthma attack he had ever had. He was literally throwing up mucus. I really hoped this wasn't an important t-shirt.

Dan stopped and I put the mask back on him. He wrinkled his forehead because of the pain, this was hurting him a lot.

The medics rushed up the stairs and I moved away from Dan, giving more space to them.

"He is on the strongest medication he can get, but he won't respond properly." I handled the medic the inhaler. He quickly looked at it.

"Okay. And what's his name?"

"Daniel Howell. But he won't be in your system, we're from England." He gave me back the inhaler. They changed the oxygen mask to a more powerful one and coupled him to a machine to watch his pulse and blood pressure. I could see everything was low because of the lack of oxygen. His whole body was moving with every breath.

I glanced around while the medics were doing their jobs. Only when I realised how many people were looking. I gave them a nervous smile. Cat did a really good job with telling them what was going on, even though she didn't knew that much herself.

I was a little use to this. It wasn't the first time I had to call an ambulance because of one of Dan's asthma attacks. I had done it a couple of times before. The last time was because we got to close to some people who smoked. But of course it didn't made it less scary.

"Phil, was it?" I nodded. "Okay. Can you help us moving him onto the stretcher?"

"Yeah, sure." I walked back to Dan. They had unbuttoned his shirt and stocked the machine to his chest.

"Take him under each arm. I'll take his legs. And He'll handle the machines, okay? On three." I walked behind Dan and gently pushed him away from the wall. He didn't react on any of the movements.

"Ready? One, two, three." We got him to sit on the stretcher. I held him up until the medics moved it up so he could stay in sitting position. If he got to lay down he could suffocate.

He began coughing again. It still sounded like he was downing so I pulled the mask of off him again and held the shirt for him to spit into.

"Ph..." He said through coughs.

"Shh. It's okay. We're going to take you to the hospital now, relax." I moved the mask back and turned to the medics. "There's an elevator right there." I pointed behind me. "I'll be down in one second." They rolled Dan away and I began to pick up our stuff from the floor with some help from Chris.

"Just call me if you need me to come and get you when Dan's better." Cat said and handled me back my key card.

"Thank you." I smiled to her.

I swung both our bags on my shoulders and started running down the stairs. Of course I was being met by a lot of fans who wanted to know what was going on.

"I'm sorry guys! I have to go with him. No, not now. Please move." I, as gently as I could, pushed people out of the way to get out to the ambulance. Dan was already inside.

"_Jesus._" I muttered to myself when I was inside too. I loved our fans, but sometimes..

"You are familiar with this I understand? So we don't have to explain what is going on?" The medic asked me and stuck a water gun in Dan's hand.

"Yes, I know the drill. His asthma is really bad and he forgot to take his medication all day. I'm usually after him all the time, but we've been so busy today. We were about to get something to eat when it started." I knew what they would do to him when we got to the hospital. The doctors would measure his peak flow again to see how affected his lungs were and then they would inject some stronger medication, making all his muscles relax.

"This isn't the first time it has been so bad?"

"No. It had happened some times before. I think the heat changes and the fact that he have been working hard all day cursed it." The man nodded. Dan took the deepest breath he could do, making a loud hissing sound. Then he started coughing again. The medic did as I did, moving be mask and held up the shirt because we didn't have anything else.

My heart stopped when I spotted the some red. He was coughing up blood. I panicking looked at the medic. I knew that when we reached to the point where blood was involved we had to work fast.

"Can you go faster?" The man asked his colleague who was driving. We were already going pretty fast.

Dan's chest raised and fell with great difficulty and he had one hand pressing against it. I was use to deal with his asthma, but I didn't like the way this was turning out.

"Daniel?" The man gently shook his shoulder to get his at attention. Dan opened his eyes, but only for a second before they were being pinched back together. We couldn't arrive at that hospital soon enough.

After what felt like the longest minutes in my life we finally pulled over. They rushed Dan inside and I followed. When we got in the medics handled Dan and all the information's I had been giving to them, to the doctors.

"Ph-Phi..."

"I'm right here, Dan. Don't worry." They rolled him into another room and moved him to a new bed. I placed myself on a chair in the corner. I couldn't help with anything anyway and the doctors knew what was best.

"That is his normal peak flow?" A nurse asked.

"Eeh, around 500-600. But that's only when it's really, really good. I think it was 480 this morning. Which was fine." I responded. "My guess is that it is under the half now."

They pulled his shirt of off him so he as naked from the waist up. Then they stock him to another and bigger machine to follow his heartbeat, blood pressure and all the other stuff. It just looked like Dan was sleeping, he didn't react on anything. I could just hear how he tried to breathe.

"Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you help?"

"Of course!" I moved from my chair. The nurse handled me a bottle with a mask on Dan needed to breath in. It was like a big inhaler and it worked like a normal oxygen mask. I knew what to do and placed it on his mouth, making him breathe in the medication.

"Take deep breaths, Daniel." A nurse told him while she injected some other medication into his veins.

I stood beside the bed, holding to mask so it covered his mouth and nose. After 5 minutes his pulse raised a bit and the hissing sound got lower. He didn't seem to struggle that much. But he was still pale.

After another 5 minutes it seemed like everything was normal, he still sounded a bit like he was drowning and he took some heavy breaths. The nurse told me to take a break with the medicine and I took a step back. The colour in Dan's cheeks where slowly coming back, but he still didn't have power to open is eyes. I gave him the oxygen mask back on.

"I'll be back in half an hour, then we can give him another round of the medication, okay? Everything looks normal, but if anything seems out of the ordinary, don't hesitate on calling us."

"Okay. Thank you." I smiled to her and dragged my chair up to Dan's bedside.

I took Dan's free hand in mine and gently stroke it with my thumb. I watched him breathe for the next 30 minutes until the nurse came back with the medicine.

I just did as I did before, placing the mask over his mouth and nose. I smiled a bit then I saw it became easier and easier for him the breathe.

"You've tried this before.." She said, smiling a bit while she checked the machine Dan was hocked up to.

"Yeah. He has been my boyfriend for four years and I've lived with him for two. So this is not alarming new. He have had it for a long time." I stroke my fingers through his hair.

"I can see it's really bad."

"Yeah. It goes up and down. But it is really bad. We go to the doctors quite often." I kept my gaze focused on Dan who seemed to relax some more now, which was good.

"Okay. I believe he has got enough for now. I think we should let him sleep for some time. Everything still looks normal, so it's really good."

I could feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. It could either be Cat or Chris calling to ask how it was going. I picked it up, Cat.

"Hey." I said and placed myself back in the chair.

"_Hey, Phil. How's it going? Is he okay?"_ She sounded stressed.

"Yeah. He's fine. He is sleeping right now. We'll just let him rest for some time. I don't know if we can go home today or the doctors want him so stay. He's still not 100 percent okay."

"_Okay. But I'm glad it's better. Your fans have been all over me sense you left.._"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll send out a tweet, telling them what is happening, okay? I'm sorry."

"_Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. The important thing is that Dan is better._"

"Yeah.." I looked back on Dan. The colour was fully back on his face and his chest raised and fell slow and steady.

"_Should I come to the hospital?_"

"No. You don't need that. I'll call you in a few hours, okay?"

"_Yeah, that's fine. Take care, Phil_."

"Bye." We hung up and I turned my attention back to Dan.

Our fans knew he had asthma, but I guess they were just confused. I decided quickly log onto twitter to see what was going on. People were arguing a lot. Rumours spread so fast.

"'Hey guys! As some of you might know, Dan had a serious asthma attack earlier at vidcon. He's okay now, don't worry! Send him some love3 '"

It was quickly responded with a lot of 'Get well soon!', 'Aww, I feel sorry for Dan!', 'How bad is it? Will he be able to show up tomorrow?'

But I didn't reply to any. There was nothing more to tell.

* * *

I heard Dan cough a few time before he opened his eyes. I quickly got up and pulled the red string for emergencies.

"Hey." I said to him with a smile.

"Holy fuck." Dan answered confused, but it only sounded like a mumble through the oxygen mask. He closed his eyes again and took a couple of deep breaths. He sounded almost normal now.

A nurse and a doctor entered the room.

"Hello Daniel. How are you feeling?" The doctor asked and walked closer to him.

"Fine. Tired though."

"That's understandable. Do you feel pain when you breathe?" The doctor looked at the numbers on the machine.

"A little, but it's okay. It is not that bad."

"I'll just listen to your lungs, okay?" Dan nodded and leaned back on the pillow. The doctor placed the stethoscope on Dan's chest. He gave a small jump because of the cold metal. "Try and cough a few times." Dan did as he was told, but squeezed his eyelids hard together. It was obviously hurting him.

"That hurt." He whispered.

"Take deep breaths." The doctor said and Dan did. "Can you sit up?" He nodded again and slowly moved himself up. The doctor placed the stethoscope on his back. "Cough please." Dan gave me a look and sighed, but I couldn't do anything about the pain, before the let out a few coughs.

"Okay. We'll give you some more of the medication and then I think you're fine enough to go home. How does that sound?" The doctor said with a half smile.

"Good. That's good." Dan nodded slowly and leaned back again.

The nurse handled me the inhaler with the strong medication. I smiled to her. I was a professional when it came to this now.

"I'm sorry, Phil." Dan said through the mask which made it a little hard to understand him.

"For what? This? Don't be stupid. It's my fault."

"How can it be your fault? I should be old enough to handle my own medication."

"Yes. But you aren't." I smiled to him. "Don't be sorry. You can't help it." I moved his curly hair out of his face. "We'll just be more careful tomorrow, okay? If you feel fine enough. We aren't going if the peak flow is under 450, understand?"

"Yes mum." Dan joked and took some deep long breaths. "What time is it?" He asked.

I quickly looked at my phone. "Around 10pm."

"I'm so hungry." Dan said and shot his eyes together.

"Can't you shut up for a minute while we do this?" I switched hand to get a better grip around the inhaler and so I could call Cat and tell her to pick us up.

"I can hold it myself you know."

"Daniel. Concentrate on breathing for a second instead."

"Fine." I kept holding the mask on him for another 5 minutes.

The doctor game back to listen to his lunges again one more time before we were allowed to leave.

"Get some rest Mr. Howell. I suggest that you go visit your doctor when you get home, okay? Just to check if anything is fine. It's looks okay, but if anything happens don't hesitate on coming again."

We shook hands with the doctor before we walked through the halls to get out.

"Thank you." Dan whispered and leaned forward to place his lips on mine.

"Any time."

"Well, let's hope there aren't going to be a next time." Dan said a little nervous.

"I'll try and make sure there won't be." I opened my arms to give him a big hug. I couldn't wait until we could back to the hotel so I could cuddle up with him and make him feel safe. I placed a long kiss on his forehead.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of coughing. I looked to the other bedside, no Dan. I slowly stumbled out of bed and followed the sound.

"Hey. You okay?" I found Dan sitting on the bathroom floor leaning against the toilet.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. My throat is just so annoyed and sore."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I just can't sleep because of the mucus. So I'm trying to cough it up." Dan said in a low voice. I could hear he was really tired. I walked closer and got down on the floor to sit behind him, making him sit between my legs. I gently wrapped my arms around his torso and rested my head on his shoulder. Trying to make him comfortable. We stayed in silence for a moment. Dan kept resting his head on the toilet seat.

I loosen my grip around him when he started coughing again. I didn't like the sound of it.

Dan leaned a little closer to the bowl because he couldn't stop coughing. I moved up to stand on my knees behind him. Giving him some space. I could tell it was hurting him.

He kept coughing to the point of gagging and I saw his muscles tighten up. I quickly grabbed his forehead to support him before he threw up into the toilet. Dan stayed leaning against my hand with closed eyes for a couple of minutes trying to catch his breath, like he couldn't support himself. I didn't want to let go in case he wasn't done yet. I slowly rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. I grabbed some toilet paper and wiped his mouth. He was too exhausted to react.

"Dan?" I could see he was close to fall asleep.

"Give me a second." He mumbled sleepy. "Listen." I listen so his breaths, sure enough the sound was better.

"I'm going to get you to bed now, okay?" He just nodded slowly. I quickly flushed the toilet and helped Dan up from the floor. I grabbed his inhaler on the sink on our way out.

"Use it." I handled the objet to him and he stuck it in his mouth. I got into the bed beside him, holding him close.

"We aren't going tomorrow." I whispered into his neck.

"Phil. The fans. We can't just stay away."

"We can if I say we can. Your health is more important."

"But, Phil..."

"No buts Dan. I'm not going to wake you up in the morning, okay? Maybe we can go and say hallo later, but you need some rest."

"Stupid asthma.." I heard him mumble. He knew I wouldn't let him go if I already had made up my mind.

"It's not your fault, Dan. You're sick and it's just something you can't control. You're my responsibility and I won't let anything happen to you. You just need to take it easy for a bit." Dan let out a deep sigh, but gave in. I tightened my grip around him. "I love you too much."

"I love you too, Phil."

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_I'm taking prompts to one shots or chaptered phanfics. So hit me! I can write about any illness and stuff like that/fluff, but ask me anything and I'll try! I do not take smut requests. (chaptered are going to be uploaded on my other profile)(You can read my long chaptered phanfictions on 'awesomesockes')_


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